Dying for the Craft and the Goofy Movie–to–Kiarostami Spectrum with Mariele Atienza

Mariele Atienza is an actress and performer based in Los Angeles, working across film and theater. She recently starred in the play Letters to Kamala / Dandelion Peace.

LFEO: What do you think about the current state of film? Of modernity?

Mariele: I’m not sure if I’m qualified to comment on the current state of film, but I’ll just say—I draw the line at vertical films. Maybe it’s the purist in me.

LFEO: What’s an image or sound that instantly makes you feel safe?

Mariele: The image of my niece, Hendrix. I just adore her. Oh gosh, sound is everything. The simple sound of a brook or the background noise of my brother watching ESPN or a game has an immediate effect on me.

LFEO: What has compelled you to act and did you always feel comfortable performing—or was it something you had to get comfortable with?

Mariele: I watched a lot of television and movies as a kid. So I formed deep parasocial connections with Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks to Annie to Forrest Gump, and there was an inner knowing that I wanted to be able to recreate what I felt for someone else one day. Before therapy, I think my natural way to cope was by being silly and strange in front of friends and family. There’s a word in Tagalog—Maarte (MAH-ART-TAY)—which means dramatic, and I was definitely called that as a child. I also had a dear aunt who would cackle at my antics, and she would always say I should pursue comedy or acting. It’s interesting how a positive passing comment can plant the seed and compel you to pursue something.

With that said, I am terrified on stage! My stage fright can be debilitating sometimes, even for IRL auditions. I’m still learning how to unclench my ass and access what is naturally flowing through me and integrate that with craft. So I suppose the short answer is YES and NO.

LFEO: Does being a performer change any dynamic in your actual life?

Mariele: Maybe? I don’t think so.

LFEO: Is there anything you’ve learned from acting that applies completely outside of acting?

Mariele: Breathe. Be present. Discover the love even in the most horrific of scenes or moments then let go. I sound like one of those HomeGoods signs that says “Live, Laugh, Love”, but it’s true.

LFEO: What’s been the most impactful movie you’ve seen?

Mariele: The Land Before Time.

LFEO: Do you have any comfort films that you like to rewatch?

Mariele: Oh my god so many, but the three that come to mind are the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy (duh), Love Jones, and The Goofy Movie.

LFEO: How do you prepare for a role?

Mariele: First, I panic like a lunatic. Once that’s settled and out of the way, I find some commonality between myself and the character—even if it’s the tiniest thread to connect with. If I can’t find that, I panic again.

LFEO: What’s given you the strength to pursue your interests in such an unwavering capacity?

Mariele: Meditation, delusion, and supportive family and friends. Plus, acting is the only thing that I’m pretty good at, and I’m pushing 40 so there’s no turning back now lol.

During the pandemic, I was inhaling every film on Criterion (and cake), and I remember crying after Kiarostami’s Where Is My Friend’s House? I was so moved—and obviously quite delicate due to the state of the world—that I remember saying to myself (and later journaling about it), “I am going to die trying to be a great actor.” Even if it meant I would never “make it,” I would be great for myself. It’s easy to forget that though, when you’re hungry and trying to make rent.

LFEO: Who would you like to work with? What is the bucket list roster?

Mariele: I mean, TILDA, our QUEEN, Viola Davis, Parker Posey, Andrew Scott, Julio Torres, LaKeith Stanfield, The dad from Family Matters, Robin Williams and Philip Seymour Hoffman if they were alive. The list is infinite.

TBH, I want to work with friends that are committed to fun and failing creatively. Where do I find friends like this? Besides you, of course.

LFEO: How do you deal with criticism and rejection?

Mariele: Critics are pretentious bullies waiting to be published, and the right opportunity is cosplaying as rejection. I also ugly cry. Crying is acceptable.

LFEO: What are your favorite places in LA? Where do you find you feel most at home here?

Mariele: I love watching the gophers destroy the grass at Kenneth Hahn Park, and I’m the coziest on a good friend’s couch watching a bad movie.

LFEO: Do you have any advice for people who are thinking of committing to trying to make it as an actor?

Mariele: The answers are within YOU!

But also know that every part of your being will be tested, so try to prioritize fun, stay thin-skinned, and lose the imposter syndrome. A major film director once told me something that really stuck with me—when he accompanied me to the Emergency Room, he said, “No one is watching you.” And I interpreted that as: do the thing you love or that is eating at you, because no one else gives a fuck about you more than you. You get to change your mind, and there’s no shame if you discover it’s not for you.

LFEO: In your work so far, what experience has been the most transformative and why?

Mariele: I did a play last year where every bit of ego within me was obliterated. Honestly, I don’t think I understood the play or my character until weeks later, after our last performance.